roller coaster

What a week. I seriously cannot express how excited I am for this weekend despite having to work a lot of it. Valentines Day was about as good as my week gets. It’s been a rough one for me. Up until 2 am and waking up at 6am which doesn’t work too well for me as I’m a girl who needs to sleep 10pm-6am. Since Vday it’s been ups & downs.

The ups:

*I’ve been getting some fabulous running in. Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s cause I’m into training for my second half. Whatever it is I’m loving it.
*I feel strong and lean. I’ve even lost 3 pounds without even trying. Doesn’t get much better than that! 😀
*I made some delicious dinners. Which I took pictures of but they’re not pretty. Lets just say that a marinated pork tenderloin dumped in a crock pot with apples & onions looks REAL gross. Same with fajita spaghetti. Although both taste  absolutely delicious. 😉
*I finally semi-cleaned my apartment. Usually I’m a clean freak but along with the rest of things I’ve let slide, my apartment was one of them.

& the downs:

*I’ve been in some sort of emotional funk. It is a realllly silly reason to get so down but I’m embarassed. I have a military ball coming up & can’t get a date for the life of me. It’s kind of pathetic and makes me feel real crappy. 😦
*I did put myself out there to a guy…got nothing. Nothing. As stated in my Valentines Day post I’m fine with being single, but this whole military ball ordeal is hanging over my head like a dark rain cloud. I wanna scream “go away!” to it. maybe I will do just that.
*I had a psych exam today and was completely unprepared. Not looking forward to getting that one back.
*In case you haven’t heard, the entire state of Wisconsin is going absolutely crazy right now. Gov Walker proposed a bill regarding budget & it has created a frenzy here. You can read about it here. This took place in my crazy city! just about 3 blocks away from my apartment. Schools are closing because teachers are on strike, there was a massive ‘walk-out’ at 10 am today where students opposing the bill got up from class & left. Classes are cancelled, yet we’re still paying for them…ironic.
*My brother and his serious girlfriend broke up-she cheated on him…again. It breaks my heart, even though we aren’t close I don’t wanna see anyone I love experience that. Poor guy.
*I haven’t had much of an appetite lately. This is weird for me. I’m always hungry & eating. I’m stuck in such a f-u-n-k.

These things may seem trivial but when you add it into about 4-5 hours a sleep of night, it makes a sad/cranky Karla.

Tell me: What do you do when you’re sad?

On a totally different note: I’m looking for new music to add to my half marathon training playlist. I am open to allll suggestions because I LOVE music. If anyone’s looking for fun new music check out Boyce Avenue. My friend introduced me… great covers of popular songs.

Today continued to be rough with the lackof sleep. Thank goodness for happiness in a cup:

I ran outside…IN SHORTS! It’s the little things making me smile today.

It was only 2 miles since I’ve ran the past 4 days in a row which I never do. But shorts in February in WI is unheard of so I made sure to get out there even for 20 minutes.  Looking at that picture I think the running & lifting is paying off. I’m actually proud of how I’m looking! yipeeeee.

Days 13 & 14

Day 13: Goals
*get accepted into a law school [I’m thinking SLU or Mizzou].
*I want to run a full marathon in Spring of 2012 & have fun doing it. I never thought I’d say those words!
*Continue to love myself first and foremost.

Day 14: A photo from a year ago & how you’ve changed

This was actually a year and a half ago & it’s not something I’m proud of. But I’m not going to lie about who I was & I can say with complete certainty that that person is forever gone. A year & a half ago I was quickly approaching/already was facing a drinking problem. At 19 years old. I went to summerfest with some guys I worked with who were older & I thought I could drink with them. I was wrong.  4o ounces of hard liquor in about 1.5 hours. This is by far the most painful night to think about. Without going into too many details, we’ll see that I ended up in the hospital. I’m ashamed.

[I’m the middle girl in back]. While it will always hurt to think about that night & the shame that I carry from it… I am never looking back at that girl. I have changed… nearly a 180 change as a matter of fact. I’ve stopped binge drinking [pretty much stopped drinking all together] & have realized all the better ways to have fun in life. Like going to bed at 9pm to get up to go run 😉  As mentioned, I’m going to spare a lot of details because nobody needs to hear about the darkest night in my life. Gone are those days. I think we all agree that this me taken exactly a year afterwards is much more suitable:

Almost time for some weekend relaxation!

–<3 the new & improved me! 😉

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3 thoughts on “roller coaster

  1. You are so pretty! I’m glad to see you’ve improved in life. Thats always good to hear 🙂
    I feel you on the sleep thing..I have been the same way! I dont know what’s up with me but I get really tired around 1pm..and then when its actually time for bed, like now – i’m not!
    Have a good weekend – hope things get better!!

  2. You look beautiful! I haven gone through much of that same journey – unhappy with weight, running and losing weight, learning to love myself despite numbers on a scale, etc. Glad to know you are in a much better place!

    And I am the same way with sleep! Require a solid 7.5 hours, preferable 8. I totally go to bed at 9:30 every night to wake up at 5 am to workout. It can be rough, but totally worth it, and you feel awesome working out before most people are even awake! 🙂

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